- Understand why you feel the way you do with someone, and why they feel the way they do with you
- Know the COST of being in a particular relationship and be able to decide if you are willing to pay it
- Forgive yourself for past relationships that didn’t work
- Find the peace of mind you’ve been seeking that years of therapy and reading self-help books haven’t given you
- Learn how to deal with your partner in a way that actually works
- Find out if “the one that got away” was actually a good match or not
Do You Wonder If the Passion and Chemistry
you felt in the beginning of the relationship will last and turn into something to build on or will it mislead you instead into thinking you have something special when the relationship is not able to go the distance?
Do You Wonder Why You Feel More Insecure Than Usual
Insecure in a way that you’ve never felt before, so much so that you are considering going into therapy because you hardly recognize yourself? Or maybe you are already in therapy and the relationship still isn’t improving?
The good news is that it may not be your fault or your partner’s fault! It could be because there is an excess of air, water, or fire between you that is causing the problem – not that he is stupid or you are crazy. To know this is incredibly healing.
To Find out, click here.
Do You Have That Desperate Feeling
that this is THE ONE for you – that you’ve just GOT to have this person because you’ve never felt such an irresistible attraction to someone before? If you’ve been together for awhile but it’s just not working, are you thinking that if you just changed yourself enough; your looks, the way you talk, your sexual skills, and your “desirability quotient”, that he or she will finally marry you?
Do You Sometimes Feel So Stupid, Pathetic and Insecure
that you are sure that there is something wrong with you? Are you in the situation you vowed you would NEVER be in; the one where your friends think you are a loser, because you keep going back to the “jerk” or “that witch?”
It may be that you DO need to do some work on your self-esteem, but did you know it could be that you have a “magnetic” attraction to the “wrong” person because of the star pattern created between your Moon and theirs?
When there is a magnetic attraction and not enough compatibility in other areas of your relationship, you can feel crazy or weak because you keep going back. You’ve tried over and over to let it go, but being apart would hurt so much that you would CRAVE contact with that person, so much so that you would find a reason to try one more time, HOPING that if you just do things differently, it will finally work. Finding out that you have a magnetic attraction to someone who is not right for you, can be exactly what you need to finally break the spell!
To find out if this is your situation, click here.
Will we stay together?
This ancient Vedic compatibility technique will be an investment in yourself if you are in the wrong relationship, but an investment in the relationship if you’re in the right one. Just like it is when you are in therapy. If it’s not the right relationship, then therapy is an investment in yourself, but if it is the right relationship, then therapy is an investment in the relationship. You can find out which one it is with the Vedic compatibility technique. Either way, the Vedic compatibility technique can be enormously helpful as a compliment to therapy!
The Vedic Compatibility Technique Has Been Working For a Long Time
This technique is over 5,000 years old and has been used to arrange long, successful marriages in India, sometimes between people who hadn’t even met before their wedding day. This astrological technique was given to us by the Rishis, holy men of ancient times, who were totally in tune with the divine, and while the times and customs may have changed since then, people and relationships have not.
If you have had a compatibility or “synastry” chart done before you will be amazed at how different and how much more in-depth and comprehensive this technique is. If you’ve never had a synastry chart done before, you are fortunate to have found this first because it addresses very important aspects of relationship that other synastry techniques can’t. Knowing the truth brings peace of mind.
As an astrologer, and a woman naturally interested in my relationships, I’ve tried many astrological compatibility techniques, and this one is SO good that it’s the only one I use now, not only for romantic relationships, but all kinds of relationships!
Two Ways You Can Find Out About Your Relationship.
You can have an in-depth consultation with me and I will look at the Moon and all of the other planets between you, plus the timing factors involved (the relationship can be right, but the timing be wrong),
or you can get a Computer Compatibility Report based on the Moon and Mars in each person’s chart (this option is especially good when you want to check out more than one relationship at a time).
Either way, each Moon is compared to the other to see how you will feel together. Love relationships are about how we are emotionally together, which is ruled by the Moon, not the Sun. The Moon rules our destiny, and when the Moons are compatible, then our individual destinies can be fulfilled together. If the Moons are incompatible, then you literally interfere with each others destiny! The relationship becomes a “learning relationship;” costing you a fortune in time and emotional investment. You can save yourself the trouble if you know this in advance.
If You Are Married and the Marriage is Difficult
then the Vedic Compatibility Technique can identify what is causing the problem. Knowing exactly what the problem is will feel like a huge weight has been lifted off. It takes the blame out of a relationship and makes it a whole lot easier to either work things out or to let it go.
How the Vedic Compatibility Technique Works
Each Moon sign has three divisions called Nakshatras or Lunar Mansions. There are 27 Nakshatras in total. This is one of the reasons why a person who has the same Moon sign as yours, say in Gemini for instance, can still be very different than you emotionally.
Each Nakshatra is approximately 13 degrees and 20 minutes wide and is comprised of:
- a ruling planet
- an animal symbol (for instinctual and sexual compatibility)
- another symbol which may or may not be an animal (such as a razor, antelope’s head, chariot, or teardrop)
- a temperament (angel, human, or demon)
- a nature (fixed, movable, sharp, soft, mixed sharp and soft, fierce, swift)
- a caste (Brahmin, Kshatriya, Vaishya, or Sudra)
- a mode of energy (fixed, moveable or dual)
- a gender (male, female, neuter)
- an activating motivation (action, inspiration, prevention)
- a humour (windy, watery, fiery)
- a goal (achievement, attainment of desires, meaning and purpose, spiritual liberation)
- a ruling deity
- a special power
- the potential of the power
The Vedic Compatibility Technique incorporates all of these qualities of the Nakshatras into 15 categories of compatibility measurements. The 15 categories reveal all the most important ways that two people will FEEL together, as well as the DESTINY of the relationship itself.
Eight of the 15 categories are given a series of possible points. You want to have a total value of 16 points or higher out of a possible 30 points. This number is a reflection of your “wavelength” or how easily things flow between you. The higher the number, the more you and a significant other will be able to be yourselves and want the same things.
Sixteen points to 19 points is average and anything over 20 is ideal for marriage. When you have 15 points or less is when you have insurmountable problems that can wear you down over time or prevent a relationship from ever landing in the first place.
The score you get is not enough to indicate if you should break up or marry. However, it can be enormously helpful in understanding the “cost” of the relationship and in what areas you will have to compromise, do without, or require you to learn strong relationship skills to make it work.
You may decide to stay in spite of the negative factors if there are enough positive factors that make worth it to you. You may also want to look at your birth chart to see if you have factors that cause you to believe that love is supposed to be difficult and painful (this would be a single topic birth chart reading) and that is why you are willing to stay in a relationship that costs you so much.
Though with that said, all relationships are sacred and it’s often the difficult and painful relationships that we learn the most from; making us able to be in a good, and most likely, easier relationship later on. If you find you have a pattern of difficult relationships, this technique can save you from having to go through the same problems yet again.
The 15 Categories of Relationship Compatibility
RESPECT: one of the most important measurements, the respect level is based on the numerical position of the lunar Mansions from each other. It reveals whether the creative energy flows from the man to the woman or from the woman to the man. It is always better for the woman’s (or feminine energy person) sign to follow the man’s (or masculine energy person) as this best allows her to feel loved and him to feel respected. When it is set up like this, the energy between the two people will flow well and both people will feel respected, loved and cared for.
Men and women tend to feel loved and respected for different things. Generally, the feminine energy person feels most loved when their feelings are respected and they are appreciated for who they are and the masculine energy person tends to feel loved when their thoughts and actions are respected and are appreciated for what they do.
This isn’t always black and white and there are ways to compensate if this is reversed. Of course, both the masculine and the feminine person want to be respected for their thoughts, feelings, actions and for who they are, but each has a preference and a healthy relationship will flow in such a way that both people will most often feel respected for what is most important to them.
This works the same way for homosexual couples. Usually one person is predominately the masculine energy person and the other is the feminine energy person. We are all both, but we each have a predominate energy overall.
To create Respect, it is best if the Nakshatras are in the following positions from each other:
- In the same Nakshatra (EXCEPT for eight particular Mansions)
- 7th from each other
- 3rd and 11th from each other
- 4th or 10th from each other
- It is more difficult if they’re 2nd and 12th, or 6th and 8th from each other. With the 2nd and 12th position, some kind of major sacrifice will be required to be together, and
- With the 6th and 8th position, it’s very difficult to agree on how your everyday life will go because your needs and desires are so different
- When the masculine energy person’s Moon is 5th from the feminine energy person’s Moon, there is a competitive, or “teacher/student” energy that interferes with romantic love.
WAVELENGTH: measures how in tune you are to each other’s words or feelings and if you feel like doing, having, or eating, the same things at the same time. The Moon represents nourishment, and what the native needs to feel nourished, not just in the sense of food, but anything that is taken in, through any of the senses, which all serve to stimulate the life force one way or another.
If these are not compatible between two people, (shown by low points), then constantly being in each other’s presence and constantly having the same things can become draining, so it is important that if the points are low that flexibility and compromise are allowed for so that both people can fulfill their needs. Also, if the points are low, being in each other’s presence for extended periods can be draining, even during sleep, and couples with low points usually need more sleep when they are sleeping together, so it may be wise for these couples to sleep in separate beds most of the time. This will help keep the “chemistry” alive and your energy at normal levels.
EXCESS: measures whether there is an excess of wind, fire or water and how it affects the health of the individuals and the health of the couple. If both partners have the same element or humor, then it is in excess, which disturbs the relationship and can even affect the man or the woman’s health negatively. If there is too much fire, then the man suffers more (persistent heartburn and small quarrels that suddenly turn into big arguments is a common symptom), if there is too much wind or water then the woman suffers more. With excess water, she may become much more emotional, sluggish, or overweight, and need a lot more sleep than usual. With excess wind, the couple will be ungrounded and lack shared goals making the woman feel insecure, and thus she suffers more.
CONSTRUCTIVISM: Shows whether you can build a home together and decorate it harmoniously or if there will be lots of disagreements and arguments. This aspect will determine if you develop good habits together or indulge in things that are destructive (remember Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown?) and if you can compromise without resentment.
TEMPERAMENT: Are you both of the same race? There are three races: angel, human and demon (angels aren’t good and demons aren’t bad). Angels are the most idealistic, conservative, traditional, refined, and moralistic. Humans have a progressive, industrious, and practical temperament and demons have an independent, eccentric and intense temperament with many emotional depths.
Women of the angel race can be with a human or a demon though she may be uncomfortable with a demon man’s intensity. A human woman can be with men of either the angel or demon race, but it’s best if she’s with another human.
Women of the demon race, however, are considered happy when only with a demon man because demons are the most sensitive with the strongest emotions and are the least traditional or refined (they may have outrageous attitudes and a more “colorful” sense of humor). Women of this race are considered to be more argumentative and more unwilling to conform to the confines of a full relationship, so only another demon man can understand and comfort her without becoming overwhelmed himself. Yes, you fabulous demon women, there are men who will appreciate you exactly the way you are, and will not try to change you! You will be a lot happier if you hold out for demon man.
FRIENDLINESS: Determines if you like to do a lot of the same kinds of things together and share similar interests–the friendship factor.
INSTINCTIVE COMPATIBILITY: How each of you will react in an emergency and whether you are sexually compatible. Will there be chemistry, making it easy and good, or will it be difficult and disappointing? This may not seem like it’s that important, but speaking from personal experience, when this part is incompatible (or “inimical”), it slowly ruins a relationship and can cause you to feel deeply defective over time, unless you understand what is going on and no one blames the other! An attitude of acceptance and curiosity, with lots of open and honest conversation (on a FREQUENT basis) is the only thing that will work if you are already married with this issue. Unless sex is really not that important to you, if you are single, I strongly recommend marrying someone who you are at least “neutral or friendly” with in this category. This is especially important if either of you have had any sexual abuse issues in your past.
COMFORT: Measures if the man’s temperament is comfortable or threatening to the woman. The means if the woman is comfortable with the way he manages his time, money, relationships with others and if he takes care of himself and his possessions. For example, how he handles the neighbor with the excessively loud music or the person on the freeway who cuts him off in traffic and, very importantly, if he is able to come up with other options when he meets a wall or resistance of any kind, especially from her.
INNATE GIVING: Some Nakshatras are more relationship oriented than others and are able to intuitively know what their partner needs.
MUTATION: This aspect determines if your relationship can cause you to change for the better over time or for the worse and if your relationship can grow and continually improve. For instance, if you want to spend more time meditating and exercising to improve your mind and body, can you do that in this relationship or does it somehow prevent you from doing these things? Have you learned new and better ways of doing something or gained a better way of looking at life because of your mate?
INNATE SENSE OF PURPOSE: One of the “special” measurements. If you have this then you feel good together even when things are very difficult and even when some of the other points of compatibility are not there. Sometimes it’s not obvious what that purpose is, but you feel it anyway, and at other times that purpose can be obvious such as it is with the President and the First Lady.
OBSTACLES: Some relationships will never progress or “land” because there are constant external obstacles. Things such as job responsibilities, having to move to another state, family interference, one person really wants children and the other doesn’t, etc. This is the most serious blemish on a relationship. If this affliction is present, it will destroy the couple even if there are other strong compatibilities. There are no exceptions to this affliction, but if you find yourself in a committed relationship with this blemish, your relationship isn’t necessarily doomed. You will have to develop some very strong relationship skills and a high degree of emotional independence to make it work because you will be apart from each other most of the time, or it will FEEL like there is an unbridgeable distance between you and that something is always preventing you from being together.
MISFORTUNES: Sometimes, no matter how much you love each other, your combined energies cause misfortune to come into your lives. This is the most painful, turbulent, and chaotic combination a couple can have. This one can interfere completely with your ability to think clearly in each other’s presence. Even if you rehearse what you are going to say, when you are in each other presence, you just CAN’T say it! No one is to blame for this, but it’s a clear indication that your destinies are not with each other.
Misfortunes cause extreme difficulties that most couples are unable to overcome; because even the smallest amount of co-dependence triggers a huge problem. It is not recommended to marry if this measurement is present, but if you are married with this combination, then the man, or the masculine energy person, will need to learn this particular skill when it seems that suddenly everything is going crazy between you. He needs to LEAVE when things start blowing up, but first he needs to be able to affirm the relationship verbally, state when he will return specifically and then LEAVE for a time, no matter how much the feminine energy person wants or demands that he stay to “fight it out” or how much she begs him not to “abandon” her!
For instance, he can say, “I love you and I’m sorry we seem to be going crazy right now, but I will come back in two hours, and then we can go to dinner (or whatever) as we had planned.” This won’t be easy to do, but it’s the only thing that works to interrupt the chaos and the escalation of negativity. When you come back together again, both of you will be more clear-headed and can enjoy your time together.
MAGNETIC ATTRACTION: this is one of the extra special, powerful, and “magical” measurements a couple can have. You can have it for each other mutually or just one for the other.
If there are other important compatibilities present this can make for a blissfully happy relationship, but if there are blemishes present such as Obstacles and Misfortune, it will be very hard to let go for the person who has the magnetic attraction to the other, sometimes leading to a “fatal attraction” situation. This one will make you feel like you are totally, completely and madly in love! But if there are other problems like Obstacles or Misfortunes as I said above, this will be the relationship where you “keep going back to the jerk or the witch” just as if you are being magnetically drawn to them!
ASSERTIVE PRESSURE: If you both are able to assert your needs in the relationship equally then the relationship can flourish, but if one person is much more assertive than the other, then the less assertive person will always feel that their needs are not being met and the more assertive person will feel the other is not doing what needs to be done to further the relationship.
CONCLUSION: When it comes down to it, the right relationship is the relationship that we feel right about being in, exactly the way that it is. A relationship in which we love a person but hope for the partner to be different or to change, cannot really be the right relationship. While you may not ever be able to understand your partner, it can still be a great relationship if you can accept your partner as they are.
What About the Other Planets, Don’t They Matter in Compatibility Too?
This technique can be applied to each planet (as well as the Moon) in the chart for both people. Sometimes it’s the clue that explains why an incompatible relationship manages to limp along for longer than expected. Often a couple will be using one planet almost exclusively because it provides enough pleasure and hope that both people keep giving the relationship another chance.
This is often the case with Venus for instance. If the couple has a very compatible relationship between their two Venuses, then they can’t help but be romantic with each other even though they can’t make the relationship work. They may try to transform their relationship into a friendship but the romantic feelings will creep back in, rekindling a hope that, sadly, can’t work out.
It can also reveal what planets give a good relationship some trouble. Say you feel good together in your everyday life because you agree on your basic philosophy of life (Jupiter). You communicate well and enjoy a friendship (Mercury); you are able to endure long-term difficulties together (Saturn), and you share similar ideas on what makes life pleasurable and romantic (Venus); but every time you try to go hiking together or solve a knotty problem in the moment, you end up fighting!
This would be because Mars is not a compatible planet between you. Knowing this helps you to avoid triggering Mars in a negative way or conversely, if things have been going well for so long that you are a little bored, you can activate Mars, have a dumb fight to liven things up and enjoy some good make-up sex! (Come on, admit it, we’ve all done this!).
Knowing what your partner’s deepest needs are (one partner may be much more highly sexed, for instance) will help the other partner to either detach and not take things so personally, or figure out how they can help their partner get their unique needs met to maintain stability in the relationship.
Everything we talk about is completely confidential and I will not share your charts or any of your personal information with anyone else. If I want to use one of your charts for an article, a class, or research, I will ask you for your permission first.