“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ― Rumi
You know how important compatibility is in a relationship. Without a certain level of compatibility, it doesn’t matter how much you love each other, it just doesn’t work when you’re together. Have you ever had a relationship where you loved each other deeply but you drove each other crazy on a day-to-day basis? You HAD to break-up before you came to hate each other, or maybe you didn’t break-up until you DID come to hate each other.
Finding someone we’re compatible with is not an easy thing to do, but even more important than compatibility in love is relationship capacity. Relationship capacity is what you bring to a relationship, your relationship skills, either learned or innate, your personal gifts, skills, and virtues, your emotional and mental resources and intelligence (receptivity, maturity & self-responsibility), then finally, whether or not you can understand your partner’s needs and be able to commit to meeting those needs over the course of a lifetime together.
For a woman, relationship capacity comes down to how open or closed your heart is to love, and for a man it comes down to the ability to do the right thing at the right time for the woman.
*For gay relationships, it’s the feminine energy* person who most needs to have an open heart to love, and the masculine energy* person who most needs to be able to do the right thing (see *Note at the end of this page).
If you’re still having problems in a relationship that has acceptable compatibility, understanding his relationship capacity, and yours, could be the key to taking the relationship from okay to great.
What is His Relationship Capacity?
He makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts, he writes you love letters, poems, and puts together music play lists for you that open your heart (and speed it up too)… he brings you flowers or other small gifts that are very specific to YOU making you feel very special and truly seen … the chemistry is exciting, easy, and warm (you can’t keep your hands off each other) … and the two of you can easily talk until dawn… you even got a Compatibility Report (smart girl!) that showed you are as compatible as you felt you were …BUT would he make a good partner for LIFE?
The Male Relationship Capacity Report will tell you this and whether or not it would be worth it for you to hang in there with him.
The Gold Ring tells you right away that you have someone who is worth the effort, time, and risk, even if you are not totally compatible with him, a Gold Nugget indicates that he is worth the effort, time, and energy if you’re also compatible with him, and the Gold Ore tells you right away that this one may just waste your time, whether you are compatible with him or not.
Here is what you will find out about him in the Male Relationship Capacity Report:
What is making him loveable:
This is related to how the gentle planets of Jupiter, Mercury, Venus, and the Moon are affecting him. These planets may or may not be influencing him in a way that makes it easy for you to love him. Being loveable is not enough, however, so while he may be loveable (cheerful, optimistic, gentle, funny, exciting, sexy, playful, friendly, or personable), he may not have the virtue you need, disappointing you even more than if he was not very loveable. On the other hand, he could be a bit hard to love, but still worth it because you trust and respect him, as he does the Right Thing more often than not.
What is making him do the Right Thing:
This section of the report is all about the noble planet Jupiter, the planet of virtue. This will tell you if he is capable of making and keeping his promises. As Dr. Patricia Allen says, “the only way you know you love yourself or anyone else, is by the commitments you are willing to make, and keep!”
If he can’t do this, Jupiter is probably in bad shape or severely afflicted, then you will not be able to respect him and allow him to lead you anywhere. You will find yourself unable to trust him, therefore, you will do more and more in the relationship, exhausting yourself, and creating resentment in both of you, or, he will just disappoint and frustrate you a lot, eroding your respect for him over time. If he is loveable, this will be all the more painful because you’ll believe in his “potential,” perhaps throwing yourself into “helping” him be the man you believe he can be, only to be disappointed again.
Some planets make it hard for a man to be available for love (the placement of the Sun could indicate that he is career oriented first and relationship oriented second), or he may be critical, angry, irritable, pushy, self-absorbed, depressed, overwhelmed, even paranoid and suspicious to name just a handful of difficult traits to love.
These unlovable qualities are often related to the placement of the Sun, Saturn, Mars, Rahu and Ketu, though there are often good qualities associated with these difficult planets too, qualities that make it possible for him to get through hard times and make a good life for the two of you.
Being with a man who is seldom fun or lovable is not an easy thing to live with all the time, but if he has virtue and can do the Right Thing, it can still be worth it to you to hang in there with him (if you ALSO have good compatibility together).
What is making it hard for him to do the Right Things:
Doing the Right Thing is the most important thing a man needs to be able to do in order to have a good relationship with you. The Right Things are being responsible, confident in his actions (whether he feels confident or not), steadfast, honest, diligent, and committed to what he decides is important in life, including his relationship with you.
Certain planets indicate that he may act in ways that are not honorable, or to act without clarity and intention. Saturn placed in certain areas of the birth chart can mean that he is controlling, fearful, anxious, cynical, or critical of other people, including you.
Saturn can be negatively impacting his confidence and his ability to take the necessary risks for success in his life, and this fearfulness means he is often suspicious of people’s motives, including yours. He may question you about where you’ve been, who’ve you been with, criticize how you do things, and he may not be able to be a support in your life by sincerely encouraging you when you want to take a risk to fulfill a dream, he may even be jealous if you succeed.
With maturity, he can work through his Saturn issues and learn how to trust himself and his ability to handle whatever life throws his way. The Male Capacity Report tells you exactly what to watch for to see how mature he is.
The report tells you how the other challenging planets, Mars, Rahu, and Ketu with, or aspecting, the Sun and the ascendant can negatively affect his relationship capacity too.
Is your man capable of doing the right thing more often than not:
After all the above factors have been analyzed, the report tells you if he is capable of doing what is most important for a man to be able to do in a relationship.
Is he easy or difficult to love:
Whether he will be easy to be in a relationship with or not, and what will be required of you if he is difficult, but still worth it because he has what it takes for you to respect him.
The Male Capacity Report will tell you if he is easy or hard to love, and if he has the ability to do the right thing more often than not, and what you will have to have together in order to make it work. The report is also gutsy enough to tell you if he is probably not worth it and that you would be better off without him.
Scroll further down this page to see some Sample Excerpts from the Male Relationship Capacity Report.
What About Your Relationship Capacity?
If you’ve ever wondered why your relationships have a tendency to not work out, or if you ever wonder if there is something that you are doing, or not doing, that is negatively affecting your love relationships, then the Female Capacity Report could give you the missing piece of the puzzle.
Even if you have had years of therapy, many astrology readings, and have kept a journal for years, this precise, compassionate, report will clearly tell you how you are attracting love with your personality and heart, and more importantly, how you may be pushing love away.
The way a woman usually negatively affects her relationships is by closing her heart to love in a variety of ways (the “difficult” planets, Saturn, Mars, Rahu, Ketu, and sometimes the Sun, placed in key places in the birth chart). Knowing how you close your heart to love, and what to do about it, will make a huge difference in your love life.
With this report You Will Finally know WHY:
- You’re steady and dependable, but you can hold a grudge forever and can’t give a man another chance when he inevitably makes a mistake or hurts your feelings
- You attract men like crazy but your relationships are tumultuous roller-coaster rides and you hate the way you act, you even call yourself a drama queen
- You want love, but worried that you’ll have to give up your independence, you run from the strong man you truly need, and are frustrated with the lovable, but unproductive, man you settle for
- Why you get scared and become controlling when things are going well in a relationship with a good man. Maybe “leaning back,” waiting, and receiving makes you anxious and uncomfortable, causing you to rush in and over-give in order to feel worthy of receiving from him
- You sleep with a man sooner than you really want to, then struggle with intense feelings of insecurity, self-recrimination, and to your horror, you find your worst self coming out in spite of your best efforts
- You want to settle down with your true love, but you’re so busy you can barely fit in time to date once a month, or maybe you take over situations, not giving a man or anyone else, a chance to do anything for you. You are impatient with the pace of your relationship, frequently angry and resentful that he’s not “manning up” like you think he should be
- You’re scared to show your true feelings because you don’t want to be a burden or be told that you’re too emotional, so you act easy-breezy with a man even when you’re dying inside, only to be crushed even more when your guy leaves you for another woman who he says “needs” him
What You Will Learn About Your Relationship Capacity:
- The six things you MUST know about your capacity for relationship
- EXACTLY what YOU need to do, or NOT do, to attract and keep that radiantly loving relationship you long for!
The Six Areas of Relationship Capacity Covered in the Report:
- What is opening your heart to love (shown by aspects of the gentle planets Venus, Jupiter and Mercury to the Moon)
- What is making you personable (also shown by the aspects of the gentle planets Waxing Moon, Venus, Jupiter and Mercury to the Ascendant)
- What is closing your heart to love (aspects from the “difficult” planets as mentioned above)
- What is making you hide the real you or what is causing you to act stronger than you really feel (Mars or Ketu)
- Whether your heart is more open, or more closed, to love
- Whether you are easy, or hard, to get to know
The Planets that Make You Personable
Venus, the planet of peace, love and charm
Jupiter, the planet of happiness, creativity, and wisdom
Mercury, the planet of friendship and communication
The Moon, the divinity of femininity, adaptability and receptivity
The Planets Closing Your Heart to Love & or Making You Hide the Real You
Rahu, until you learn what you need to be happy, Rahu can cause you to be so fully in your emotions right now, that you forget the future and the past. You feel like a ship in a storm, tossed about by your emotions
Ketu, disciplined emotions, or showing secondary feelings instead of the first feelings confusing your man and making it hard for him to know what to do
Saturn, a tough and hard planet giving you a strong need to prove yourself worthy of love
Mars, a touch and hard planet making you very independent, too independent for the natural confines of a relationship and someone who is prone to anger and frustration
Sun, solid and stable giving great qualities such as authority, magnetism, steadfastness and professionalism, but these qualities are not good for love unless you want to be the active, giving, masculine energy person. If you want to be the cherished feminine energy, these qualities interfere
Even if you discover that your heart is basically closed to love, for whatever reason, there is hope because the Female Capacity Report tells you what you can do about it!
Scroll further down the page to see Sample Excerpts from the Female Capacity Report!
When the Compatibility is Good But the Capacity Isn’t
Relationship capacity is your ability to “show up” for someone in a long-term, committed relationship, so even though you can be VERY compatible with someone, but the CAPACITY for relationship is poor, the relationship can still NOT work out.
In fact, the more compatible you are the more painful and bewildering it is when the relationship doesn’t work!
Whether a person has a high or low Capacity for relationship, it is best for you to have good Compatibility with them too.
For the person with high Capacity, a partner with whom they share good Compatibility makes the relationship effortless and allows for a deeper degree of sharing and greater productivity.
For the person with low Capacity, a relationship blessed with good Compatibility creates an environment where they can effectively learn to relate in a more capable manner and bring out their best possible behavior – the going will still be tough, but they will improve and eventually they can have a good relationship with that compatible person if they hang in there.
On the other hand, venturing into a relationship with poor Compatibility is bound to be unrewarding and frustrating. For the person with high Capacity, a relationship with poor Compatibility will do its best to frustrate his or her talents, reduce their potential productivity as a partner and bring out the worst possible behavior in that person. In the end they are likely to decide that the relationship is just not worth the effort.
For the person with low Capacity, a relationship with poor Compatibility will make life impossible and be so dramatic as to cause everything in the lives of both people to suffer. So after understanding and working with your Capacity, find a relationship with acceptable – does not have to be perfect, but is at least acceptable – Compatibility, and you will have a great relationship.
Check Out Your Compatibility – Will it Bring Out the Best in Both of You?
SAMPLE Excerpts from the Male Capacity Report:
Who hasn’t wondered about George Clooney? I ran his Capacity Report and was surprised to see that he is has a Gold Nugget at the top of his report! It’s possible that he has not been in a love period for a long time (I’ll check it out and write an article about it soon), or that he really hasn’t found the right woman yet. It sure would be tragic if he sticks to his “confirmed bachelorhood” status, he could make the RIGHT woman, a woman he is Compatible with, very happy! We just knew it, didn’t we?
This is someone I used to know. He was always working on several projects at once, but it seemed that none of them ever really came to fruition because he was not able to take constructive criticism, even when presented in the gentlest way possible. He was too proud to take advice and even seemed to do and say things to cause people to NOT want to help him. After knowing him for a number of years, I discovered that he was extremely ruthless in business, even going so far as to spread false rumors about his competition and would even claim credit for someone else’s work.
The Relationship TIMING Report:
After you have relationship Capacity and Compatibility you can check out the best times ahead for your relationship! This report covers a five-year(5) period, so you can plan important events far ahead…like a wedding, buying a house, having a child, moving, and productive creative projects together.
If you are single, the Relationship Timing Report will tell you when you can meet, or associate with Mr. Right, or Mrs. Right, and when a relationship will likely deepen in it’s level of commitment!
The Four Bar Colors and What They Mean:
The Pink Bar and Love Keywords are the days for meeting someone new or having a loving experience with your current partner.
The Green Bar and Marriage keyword are days where you commit to a person or to some ideal that is greater than yourself and in so doing anchor yourself in the world. It is almost always a day of committing to a person or making a deeper commitment.
The Orange Bar and Co-Creation keyword are days that you will be productive with your partner, whether in respect to children or succeeding in any other creative venture that you and your partner want to succeed in. These are the days where you find purpose in your relationship. If you are single, these are also days where you can meet the right person for you, or they can be “love days.”
Soul Mate/Purple Bar:
The Purple Bar and Soul Mate keyword are the days where you will experience a deep connection with someone that makes you feel like they are meant to be part of the greater plan for your life.
What the Number Next to the Keyword and Days That are Starred Means:
The keyword will have a number next to it, a 0, 1, 2, 3 or 4, and possibly a STAR also. The number represents how good the day is, the days with a STAR next to them are are days when the BIG events happen.
Some days, there will be only one of the colored bars, some days will have no colored bars, some days have two or three colored bars, and some days have ALL four colored bars with a Star or two! You can see these days quickly, at a glance.
SAMPLE Page of Relationship Timing Report:
*NOTE for Gay/Lesbian Singles and Couples:
Because the reports are gender specific (except the Relationship Timing Report), a definition of what the “masculine partner,” and the “feminine” partner bring to a relationship, and how to tell which one you are predominately, is important. Because the truth is, even in heterosexual relationships, the masculine partner could be the woman and the feminine partner could be the man, so this is not just a gay/lesbian issue.
Knowing which one you are predominately in a relationship saves you loads of time, heartache, and confusion. We are all both male and female, but we are also usually more one than the other. There are some people who are very balanced between the two, but that often doesn’t usually happen until you’re past middle-age and know how to consciously work with both the male and female sides of yourself.
The book Getting To “I Do” by Dr. Patricia Allen has one of the best and most detailed descriptions of what the masculine person brings to a relationship and what the feminine person brings to a relationship that I’ve read anywhere, and it’s excellent for both straight and gay people, because regardless of your sexual orientation, you need to know who you are and which energy you prefer to operate from in order to have great relationship.
I’ll give you a shorter version of how masculine and feminine is defined so you can know what report to get for your Relationship Capacity, and who to designate as the masculine and feminine person for the Relationship Compatibility report. For a more in-depth study, however, I recommend Dr. Pat Allen’s book mentioned above.
Working Definition of the Masculine Energy Person
Masculine energy people prefer to be appreciated for what they think and what they do, more than they like to be appreciated for what they feel and who they are. The masculine energy person is the one who usually initiates activities from where to go on a date, to getting things started in the bedroom. They typically prefer to lead with their ideas, goals, and plans, and are concerned that their partner feels good about following them wherever they want to lead the relationship (at least, a masculine person with relationship capacity respects their partner’s feelings). The healthy masculine energy person is steadfast, consistent, and likes to take care of the needs and feelings of the feminine energy people, children, and animals in their territory. Of course, they want their feelings to be considered as well, but it is obviously secondary to their desire to be respected for what they DO and THINK.
Working Definition of the Feminine Energy Person
The feminine energy person wants to be appreciated and respected for how they feel and who they are, more than for what they think and what they do. They are the fun person, the one who makes themselves more available to what the masculine person wants to do (they say yes to most things, unless the activity is immoral, unethical, or it doesn’t feel good). The predominately feminine energy person is more body-centered, sensual, and likes to provide a sensual and supportive environment for the relationship to flourish in. The masculine person may provide the house, but the feminine person makes it a home, often taking care of it’s upkeep and more often than not, doing the cooking because food is such a huge, sensual aspect of life. Being, and the quality of being, is more important than productivity. Of course, they want to be appreciated for their thoughts and for what they produce too, but it is secondary to what they FEEL and who they ARE.
One of the reasons there is so much divorce and relationship instability in today’s society is because the cultural expectation is for everyone to be “successful” and productive, make money, and to work, work, work. This is very destructive not only to the feminine energy person, who feels guilty for not being more focused and productive but to the masculine energy person too, because they often feel guilty if they want to relax and take time to enjoy the fruits of their labors. The over-worked masculine person is the one who usually ends up with a coronary, and the fun, sensual, feminine person feels ashamed for not being more “productive.”
The masculine and the feminine are equal and complimentary, something that is illustrated beautifully in astrology, and in nature too, if we study it. There does seem to be a movement towards this more egalitarian attitude, and my hope is that these reports support the appreciation of both sides and helps to create healthy, happy relationships!